True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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