When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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