I will die if light touches me.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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