I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
