You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
