just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
