As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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