I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
