i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
