And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
