Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
