at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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