can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
