Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
