ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
