Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
