If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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