White coat. Heels.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
