ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
