i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
