i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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