hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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