I am puke
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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