What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Come see our sink grown plant.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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