Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
