i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
