and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
