Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
