from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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