The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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