So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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