You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the condom got lost in my hair
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
