Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
