we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
