I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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