well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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