this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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