You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
