She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
