is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
