I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
