Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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