This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I could fuck to npr.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
