we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Edward fifth and chaser hands
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
