I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Mom said you looked used
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
