what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
