Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
