She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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