I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
