I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
