I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
