that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
